Don't let me know what you find out

karmas_payment @ 2008-01-27T15:19:00

2008-01-27T20:25:10Z

I have not written anything for mannnny months. Today I'm moving back into school. I hate packing and because of that haven't finished yet. Eventually I'll either finish or leave things behind. I guess either way school starts again.
Winter break was neat for many reasons. One being that I got to see quite a few shows that I really wanted to, including The Walkmen on Thursday and The Mars Volta last week. I also went to New Hampshire to work during the primarys and because of that got to see! and shake hands with! Barack Obama. In case you were wondering he has very soft hands.
I also got some sea monkeys and played a solid amount of accordion. Classes start again on Tuesday but hopefully they'll be fun. They're neat classes like history of Baltimore and creative writing and more accordion lessons. But oyyyy... Chemistry!
Anyway, here's a picture to make this a little better...that's right before I got to meet him!

karmas_payment @ 2007-06-04T22:56:00

2007-06-05T03:03:28Z

In the past three weeks I :

moved out of alcock 207

got a tattoo

picked strawberries

and played in brooklyn (ny) for five days at marcs

I like summer.

karmas_payment @ 2007-04-17T18:21:00

2007-04-17T22:34:41Z

I feed my fish almost everyday. When I forget, I feel like a jerk.

On Tuesday nights i play music on a radio show! But it's just an internet one, so, it's not that cool. I'm really excited to be almost finished school!

karmas_payment @ 2007-03-23T13:08:00

2007-03-23T17:16:48Z

I am on spring break and today is really only the second nice (weather) day we have had. The windows are open and that makes me happy because now it smells springish outdoors and I can hear things that I am used to hearing outside my house. I have also been listening to the song devil town excessively which is pretty ridiculous and probably pretty annoying to those around me. No one has complained yet though. I have to go back to school on Sunday and then I work a lot as well as doing a fair amount of school work (at least for eight weeks). This summer I'm going to take classes at essex as well. Would anyone like to study a little conversational French with me? I think I am going to go and study French right now because my mid term is almost as soon as I get back.

karmas_payment @ 2007-02-07T12:00:00

2007-02-07T17:17:27Z

I am at school again and these are my school windows. Being cold isn't so bad.

karmas_payment @ 2006-12-06T01:44:00

2006-12-06T05:44:00Z

     Magically and amazingly and unbelievably I am finished my very last paper of my first semester. Obviously I still have finals but tomorrow is my final day of regularly scheduled classes, thursday I leave for Boston and Tuesday and Thursday and the only two days I have finals. After tomorrow nights jujitsu class I'll almost be free. Part of me is relieved and part of me still hasn't registered that I am almost done classes because I kind of still can't believe I'm in college. Mostly though, I'm just exhausted.
     Hey, look at the intensity of jujitsu class:

Yeah, that's a bruise from practicing getting out of a knife fight! (I'm really intense)

its important for you to know

2006-11-26T05:43:11Z

alexdactyl10 (12:40:05 AM): once i got free jelly bellys in the mail

alexdactyl10 (12:40:08 AM): but then again....

alexdactyl10 (12:40:31 AM): at the beach there was a shirt that said "there is room for all of gods creatures.....next to the potatoes and gravy!"

karmas_payment @ 2006-11-13T19:47:00

2006-11-13T23:47:57Z

my car is a submarine! which is pretty lame because I am now relying on various rides to get to and from work. I also can't escape whenever I want. However, first semester is almost finished which is pretty exciting. It's so hard to do work with only two weeks left, I just want to be finished. I realize that I have very little to say in an organized forum like this. So...yeah. Oh, I'm going to be in boston the 7th to the 11th of December. I expect to see all who are there. : )

karmas_payment @ 2006-11-05T22:33:00

2006-11-06T02:33:26Z

I am in college. This is still a little strange, but mostly its alright. My room is much smaller than I am used to because it functions as many different rooms. Outside my window at night is a blue emegency post with a glowing light. It comes through the blinds when I shut them. Right now, its too cold and it will be too long before it isn't cold again. Kaitlin drew this on me at work when it was still warm

these are bad proportions

2006-09-25T13:52:07Z

a rough idea of what my current enviroment looks like (though it is changing soon):

karmas_payment @ 2006-09-17T01:04:00

2006-09-17T05:05:22Z

I am exhausted.

karmas_payment @ 2006-08-14T15:03:00

2006-08-14T19:18:11Z

on the shore of Maryland

karmas_payment @ 2006-08-08T01:26:00

2006-08-08T05:33:26Z

this was earlier in the summer, my legs are still pale and i'm still sleepy but things have been worthwhile.

karmas_payment @ 2006-06-21T17:56:00

2006-06-21T22:12:39Z

I graduated

and made cookies

and played frisbee

and less recently
(but still good--circa october)

I saw rilo kiley

and the decemberists

(both with marc and elise)

and took pictures of marc while he wasn't looking

karmas_payment @ 2006-04-05T22:43:00

2006-04-06T02:53:30Z

TODAY!! it snowed. and i didn't want to plant trees. but i did anyway. and it snowed while we walked around with our orange buckets and then i was happy that i was planting trees because of, and inspite of the weather. and the bus never came. and fourty five of us walked through neighborhoods with backpacks and wet feet. and the newspaper chunked my story. so i sound like i don't understand music. or the english language. (and it looks like a don't with this punctuation)(but i do). and i was really upset by that. and then i had to finish the literary magazine. and i was upset by that too because i felt overwhelmed. but it turns out i wasnt really. and then i had to go straigt to work. and i climed in my back seat and slept for ten minutes. and i went to work and found out someone would work for me sunday! so i think im heading north saturday! so it was like this air tight packaging day. and i mostly don't care about things i did earlier.

karmas_payment @ 2006-03-20T20:15:00

2006-03-21T01:17:55Z

i am so stupid for thinking i can do all this in a week.

karmas_payment @ 2006-02-28T22:00:00

2006-03-01T03:05:56Z

Tonight at work:

an approximatly two year old boy jumped up on my register belt and said "dorris give me some candy" in a mumbly two year old boy voice

i made an announcement that consisted of "attention health concern customers....nevermind"

i built a box fort behind customer service

i added more to the vacuums fin with kaitlin

it's been a weird day.

karmas_payment @ 2006-02-21T22:43:00

2006-02-22T03:46:44Z

"if you put a worm on a dirt path that ended in the moon, i think they'd end at the moon."

i think this is an important topic. i don't care about the ports of baltimore or the olympics. what i do care about is the tenatious nature of the earth worm.

actually, i was digging around in my trunk and found this written down with the date 7/7 on it. my teacher in tennessee said it and i think its grand.

karmas_payment @ 2006-02-12T11:19:00

2006-02-12T16:28:29Z

the largest word that i have ever met is spiritus mundi. it is cited as "the soul of the world, a collective unconscious from which humans draw memories, symbols, dreams." there is a lot of space to fill in that. (i like the idea of it anyway)

the health concern did not open today. i'm not sure what people do on sundays anymore. my dog lays by the window, beside the green chair. i ate pancakes and watched tv guide.

i don't have to set out samples or face the supplements. ...?

karmas_payment @ 2006-01-31T21:46:00

2006-02-01T03:08:31Z

What stays with you latest and deepest? Of curious panics
Of hard-fought engagements or sieges tremendous what deepest remains?
—Walt Whitman

1.
In my early years I spoke in many languages.
Then I grew quiet.

(This is not an obituary.)

Some of my dreams faded,
if they could count as dreams.

I was a good friend,
though I mostly called
when there was no one else

I was a poet,
though I only wrote
when there was nothing else
(That was often enough.)

2.
I was truly in love once, as least as I remember it.

A boy from another country said,
I intend to go alone,
which was not what I intended.

I learned to sleep in a hammock,
my body sagging to the floor.

I bathed in the river fully clothed:
the cotton clung, translucent.
(A man watched from the outer banks.)

I spent the night on an ancient pyramid,
monkeys shrieking through the trees,

I bribed a guard to leave me alone,
and there was no one left to tell.

3.
A young man skipped ahead on the trail.
I must have said, Wait.
(Years passed.)
How could I say goodbye?

I sealed leftovers in ziplock bags;
I wore a flowered bathrobe.

I began to listen to books on tape,
especially biography.

(This is not an obituary.)

There was a jungle-book ending:
strands of dirty-blond light
shone through the spreading palms.

((Lexi Rudnitsky))

Stonefish Tigerlilies & Other Oddities

Free the guilty hang the innocent
Love your enemies hate your friends-

an elephant paces the floor
outside my room
knocks on the door-

Tulips sprout in the toilet bowl
paintings hang from trees
clouds drift through my head-

cars sitting idle at night
on these quiet streets
of what do they dream-

Her eyes were tiger-lilies
her face was a mirror
walking around inside her head
I discover it is a house of mirrors-

paddling through shimmering glass
canoeing across reflected blue skies
& drifting clouds-

On a sunny day there are tropical fish
swimming in the sky-

birds etched trapped in stone
dream of taking flight-

a naked woman sits
on the edge of my bed
stone marble tears
slide down her face-

Unknown poets sit in a restaurant
feasting on the flesh of dead poets
fishing for visions-

Out walking on a warm spring evening
admiring the new blooms
of fish on the trees-

In the shadows those fish near death
sprouting out of the ground
speaking their last enigmatic words-

Congregations of giant leopard slugs
performing a secret ritual
in the bushes
gnashing rows of razor-sharp teeth
as we approach closer
we are frozen in our steps -

Reading meaning in the cracks
in sidewalks -

Seeing Angels dancing
in swirling cigarette smoke-

Menacing demons' eyes
staring through dark windows-

Turning clouds into mandala
& weeping Madonnas-

Finding visions of Gods
in rainbow-colored puddles
of gasoline-

twisting slips of the tongue
into an insight-

Freezing moments of madness
frozen in moments of madness-

Cutting out pieces of a life
creating a collage-

Pasting limbs & torso together
breathing life into the Golem
without a soul-

Ripping apart a sculpture
to understand its form
composition & meaning-

Stripping away layers of paint
to see the artist's vision-

((gordon coombes))

karmas_payment @ 2006-01-08T19:24:00

2006-01-09T00:25:53Z

"who wandered around and around at midnight in the railroad yard wondering where to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts..."

in the winter i can never see an end. it doesn't feel like there was anything before this and it doesn't feel like there will be anything after this. it gets so dark and so cold. my car won't even just go so how am i supposed to? there isn't anything to look foreward to. is there?

oh, photos from different times.

karmas_payment @ 2005-12-04T20:42:00

2005-12-05T01:48:01Z

karmas_payment @ 2005-12-03T22:49:00

2005-12-04T03:54:49Z

recently things have kind of straight up sucked.
though today was enjoyable. i woke up moderately early, uncaring of appearence and went out with my mom to ...all over. when i came home a few hours later, i just sort of layed around and thought of said sucking. after which i found myself jumping on my bed to credence clear water revival in a skirt without anyone else home. i went to see the nutcracker with my mother and my grandmother, a welcome excursion. (then i found out i couldnt spell---sorry.but not really.) tomorrow is work and weather that will be lame and monday is more tests and needles because my body hates me (refer to first sentence) but i feel like i am waiting for something and i hope you have something to wait for too because sometimes, and recently, it might be the only thing to do.

karmas_payment @ 2005-11-27T01:49:00

2005-11-27T06:56:34Z

(i like this, though it has nothing to do with anything)

after monday, i will, in therory, be able to attend a college in the relativly near future.

karmas_payment @ 2005-11-21T22:51:00

2005-11-22T03:56:35Z

TAKE THE PLUNGE

You're in personal mode. You wake up, stretch, yawn . . .just another morning . . . except, wait . . . isn't today. . . ? Didn't you make a little pact with yourself? To go on a consumer fast — to buy absolutely nothing for 24 hours?

This is what most of the millions of participants around the world do on Buy Nothing Day: they have a battle of wits with themselves. They struggle to overcome their most ingrained behavior. They go cold turkey on consumption for a day and see how it feels.

Stepping out of the consumer stream, for even 24 hours, is a fascinating personal experiment. Will you react with Zen-like calm or panic? Will there be withdrawal, anxiety, an epiphany? Can you holdout? Can you remember? People tell of strange and wondrous, mind journeys when they close their wallets, ditch consumer culture and détourne the daily routine.

Are you up for the challenge?

(adbusters)